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Well, it sometimes ends with a common phrase- ‘we’re not meant to be lovers,
let’s be friends!’
For many, this is the toughest line they could ever hear in their lifetime.
And for others, this could be a great escape. My apologies, if my words tend to
hurt someone (the great escapers). But, you see, there are two categories of
lovers- first, the ones who are madly in love with each other and secondly, the
ones who always try to catch a new partner in every few days. For the later
breed, it would not be difficult to cope up with a break-up and settle with the
phrase mentioned at the top. Do you agree?
But, a few genuine relationships that broke up in front of me have really
provoked me to give a second thought on- can ex-lovers be friends? Well, I want
to be precise and would try to conclude my article in just a few paragraphs.
The following would just have my own views…and would like you to give your
views once I complete the piece.
The ‘phenomenon’ of ex-lovers becoming friends cannot be genuine at all times.
But, those who mean it, I salute them! To be genuine and fair in your further
relationships after a break-up is something that really deserves an
appreciation. For this, a person really needs to be tolerant, unpretentious and
a true human. But, at the same time, you cannot say anything about human
intentions. People whom you have known for years and about whom you have an
impression that they cannot do anything wrong with you, can sometimes break
your belief.
When it comes to intentions, I have always believed that people who come up
with the proposal to be friends after a break-up, they do have some reasons!
Not to misinterpret my thought- since, I’m not saying that everyone does have
those intentions; however, this breed of lovers is rare! The reasons behind
that proposal always cannot be seen as selfish- they can be sometimes harmless.
Let me try to access the psyche of the lovers. For a person who is genuine
with his/her relationship, it is very difficult for him/her to accept the
phrase- ‘Let’s be Friends!’ But, over a period of time, they might feel that
the absence of his/her beloved in life is torturing him like hell, making life
miserable, and as a result, they might accept the fact that- it’s good to be
friends than letting her/him go away forever. But, do you think this friendship
is ‘100%’ pure? My answer to this question would be a straight ‘NO’! However,
there is a possibility that the relationship might become a genuine one at a
certain point of time, but it takes time! In this case, there are no hard
feelings!
There are others who could take this friendship as a chance to rekindle the
once broken relationship. This breed of lovers is just too much accustomed to
their partners and they do not want the latter to step out of their lives. They
might pretend to be okay with the decision of parting ways, but at the core,
they are completely frustrated. Thus, they come up with the common phrase and
tend to become close once again with their fresh-out-of-the-courtship partners.
These lovers always hold an intention to win their beloved back. Don’t you
think this could harm the other person’s life big time?
There are of course many other breeds of ex-lovers-cum-friends, but time
does not allow me to discuss each of them. As I am nearing the conclusion, let’s
come to the point and my sole purpose of writing this article- to seek
answer/views to the question, is it possible for ex-lovers to become good
friends? Being a rigid believer, I want to question those who think it is
possible that is it really easy, especially when each and everything (read sex)
is tried? But then, why do I tend to forget it’s the age of ‘sex-buddies’. If
people can take friends as sex buddies, why the hell my views contradict with
those ‘ex-lovers can be good friends’ believers?
And if this thing takes place between two good friends…then
the comfort level which they do share lessen up to an extent..and..it hurts a
lot..:(
