I'm Taking Back My Love

I am writing this for you. You and only you. Everyone else who is reading this is just reading it. They don't understand it, only you will. You need to know this - all of this, because if you don't know it now, you may never know and I cant live with that.

I thought I had so much more time. I thought I had years to tell you what I have been wanting to tell you so I have been putting it off for tomorrow. But it turns out that I have no time. So I have to tell you right now hoping that you would listen and listen well.

There are so many photographs that you have yet to see - photographs taken only for you. And there are so many letters that you have never read - letters meant only for you. And there are so many plans that you have not heard about, that you should have known. And my heart, my silly heart that yearns for you, you haven't even seen it all all. But you must, because right now may be the only time I get to show you.

I know I’m not perfect, and may never be. In fact there is no point in making this perfect, because perfection makes it all boring, only the pursuit of perfection makes it exciting. And you know we are exciting. So I know that I am going to continue to ruin perfectly romantic moments by saying something silly, and you will continue to make me mad by cracking a sarcastic joke at the wrong time. But the truth is, I want to get mad at you. And I want to yell at you and I want to fight with you and want you to make it up to me. No matter how frustrated I get, I don't want it to stop, because that is what makes it special in its own screwed up way. And I always want to do something silly and blame you for it. I want to give you the first spoonful of whatever it is that I am about to eat and I want to do that for the rest of time. I do. I really do.

And I want you to get mad at me so that I can tell you how adorable you look and show you how perfectly I fit into your arms even when you don't want me to. There are so many things that I want to do for you, so many things that we need to see together, like the snow and the beach.

I know it defies logic. And I know it is not simple, but here is something I never told you before: loving you is the easiest thing I have known, and that is the truth. Can't you see it, that you are just a silly girl who belongs with me and only me, because why would God ever make the wrong man love you in all the right ways? He knows it all, and He must have a plan. Please don't mess with His plan.

Everlasting Memories of a First Experience!

Your first is always special. It always holds a unique place in your heart and in your life. I am not just talking about the first guy/girl in your life…but of experiences which were a first in your life. It can be anything…be it your first crush, your first drink, your first date, your first kiss, your first love, your first job, your first day in college and many such special moments…they tend to imprint on your memories to be cherished!

Everlasting Memories of a First Experience!

These firsts are sometimes also our last. Life is a constant journey filled with bundles of joy and sorrow. We walk through various phases each day making us learn a new aspect about the world around us. Of these, some aspects and people in certain cases, become really special to us, thus securing a niche within us. These moments never cease to exist from our memory.

By now, hopefully this piece is reminding you of some definite yet fortunate incidents that have occurred in your life. So, what is the big deal about these first encounters in our life? Those awkward clashes, running and bumping into people, accidentally jarring towards a solution which you and your peers were breaking your heads on…the list simply goes on!

The process is everlasting which constantly adds that zing and excitement in our lives. In other words, it gives us an opportunity to reinvent ourselves and form new bonds and attachments with people and places. This bond cannot be replaced by any substitute. After all, these attachments are not formed to fade away with time; otherwise being human would cease to exist!

At same time, there are certain experiences which we would like to forget but cannot do so. You guessed it right! I am talking about those goof-ups which we could have avoided but bumped into them. And then we move on thinking to ourselves, “Oh crap! If I could have just avoided him/her…It would have been so much easier otherwise! This is so embarrassing!” There are other similar instances where we feel, “If I could have answered that question appropriately in the viva, may be I would have got full marks!” But then, how can we forget the biggest of all the remorse of what went wrong in the past – “Agar hum thoda aur padh lete, toh aaj hum bhi NIT ya IIT main hote!” And the regrets are endless!

Over a period of time, we realize that these are our first encounters to failure and so, even they are deeply ingrained into our soul. And then we move on again to receive our first paycheck which gives us that feeling of exhilaration which is simply unmatched. That paycheck maybe your good result, inflarious win over a debate/quiz..or it maybe your salary..Today, we might be at a place where we must be encountering the fresh minds yet what remains with us was the time as a memory when we were those fresh minds.

That feeling of anxiety, nervousness yet being excited on our first bicycle ride, the first class that we attended in school/college, the first time we voted and above all, our first crush and first love…they are hard to forget!

When it comes to first crush or first love, it surely does bring back a smile on our face. In most cases, it is either a schoolmate or a teacher whom we secretly admired. As rightly said, first love never fades away! The first date is still cherished; those gifts and love letters are safely stacked away in some corner where no one can find them.Although I don’t have such letters and gifts with me..still..i can think about the ongoings in a students life..the student’s love life… The small gestures that we did for our beloved still dwells within us! And in the process, we definitely cannot forget our first heartbreak…nothing could have been more painful than that.

And being a vicious circle, there is a first when we met our better half…it sure is a moment when we promise to spend the rest of our lives together! So, another series of firsts start in the form of our own family. Over a period of time, our life becomes a picture of memories which we look back and smile on.